for u my lord

2006-12-04T09:48:00.000-08:00

Its rather frustrating that everything has to do with google. yes and that includes blogger. i'm baptised ,

Gideon- a champion of the last days, a mighty men of valor, a warrior, a reformed man, a man of courage and strength, a man who found favor in the eyes of the Lord.

And i had this phrase stuck in my mind for the entire day

"Foxes have holes, birds of the air have nest but the Son of man have nowhere to lay His head"

-Luke 9:58

and i started thinking about it. The human brain can never decipher what God has intended it to be, our brains are just to... simple i guess. We can never truly get the answer that God has through this simple mind of ours.

Indeed God started to speak through the Holy Spirit to me, and indeed it was the Cost of Discipleship. Many of times, we run to the altar and we declare "Oh God, i'll follow u, follow u wherever you'll go " but the next day we turn to another life, where God seems to be number 2 in our life. Our mentality of "Disciple" has been kept for Sat and Sunday purposes.

We run to the altar and say "God if there is someone u would sent, send me." and when people start to ask u, "hey lets reach out to these people " or " hey u want to go for mission trip" our minds would start having a negative response. God was trying to say, " hey get right with me, if u want to follow me then i warn you that its not easy. The animals have places to lay, people have home, i don't. If u want to follow me, u have to forsake all" and i remembered this verse

"So likewise, whoever does not forsake all that he has, he cannot be My disciple."

-Luke 14:33

and indeed we do not forsake ALL, if computer has been taking more time then anything else then it is an idol. Many of us have been worshipping these idols unknowingly. amen?

We must Get RIGHT with God today, Count the cost of following, search your heart and think whether u really want to follow Him, He should be the center of our life but the essence of sin is the result of Self centerness.

Are our desires more impt or God desires more impt.

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served , but to serve , and to give his life a ransom for many" Mark 10:45

And we are Forever grateful that He who was sinless came to become sin for the sake of us.

i'll end with this ...

"He was wounded For our transgression, bruised For our Iniquities;

The chasetisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we were healed"

-Isaiah 53:5

2006-11-23T07:23:00.000-08:00

i just came back from dinner with the o & a level students in my cell. it was good. thats all i could say. because it was GOOD..
i remembered this joke we made in the resort the other time and i really treasured the time we could fellowship and have fun. setting up the fire, playing the ps2, rocking the majong set.
SO they claim that when u add fats and coke together u get to see worms appearing so i said
" in the beginning xb created worm by pouring coke on fats. And he said it was good."
"you shall have coke and coke more abundantly"
"For Fats so loved the Coke that he gave out his only begotten worm, that whoever believed in it shall not perish but have more worms.."
NONSENCE!
okay it was so lame la.. but we were all unconcious in the state of mind. and to some ppl this could be offending but we were just creating out of boredom and sanity.

okay life is Good. and i stood rooted thinking what will tomorrow be...

-a mark of recognition.
pleasure kills.

2006-11-22T01:14:00.000-08:00

i'm amazed at my blogs popularity. but i guess many do not understand the meaning. but thanks for coming.
we had bbq at tanah merah safra resort. its huge and i think that it quite worthy to book the chalet but its quite remote and the things there are expensive.i've photos but i'm to tired to go upload them. maybe someday maybe never.
perhaps u have heard the background music at the background. its an rather old song by MercyMe. its called "if i can only imagine"
And its really like how we feel about eternity in heaven, many of us try to imagine how it would be like before God, before Jesus. and this is part of the song.
"Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine"
yesterday as we sat up the fire, i was actually very proud of myself as i was able to sat up beautiful fire for the bbq. And i sat there thinking of "Revival"
U see God is like person who wants to start a fire, and we are the ugly and dirty charcoal that has our potential hidden within us. God places all of us together so that we can full utilize our potential and that we can help each other "burn"(inspire and pull people onwards,fellowship). And when we have the structure, the fire starter is put into the structure and the charcoal are burn. But that fire does not last forever. Which is similar to us, when we come to know Christ throught friends, and we start strengthening ourselves and utilising our "talents" for his kingdom, however it does not last forever, our fire diminish. But as we start to fan them, the fire starts to spark off, and after fanning (okay we use the eletric fan and was so much faster) the fire reappears. Similarly thats what the Holy Spirit Gives us, the fire to burn for His kingdom and He speeds us the process and quicken us. When we are fully utilize, when the the charcoal is fully used up and u see that perfect red molten state, it is spread out. Simliarly, we are being spread out to other countries to preach what He has done in our life and to ask God to also use them and to spread our fire to them. and if u are thinking that the since the fire is gone, then there is no heat, then u are wrong. Miraclously, the bbq pit still remained hot.
So u'll know what more the fire in us, it may get smaller through the years but the heat is still there. (:

-another random comment. (:

2006-11-17T07:29:00.000-08:00

i decided to turn back to my past time. (: its been long since i blog. so its kinda refreshing. o level abt to end. i'm left with... 1 paper?!... hahaha. i don't think i did well. i kinda screwed up to many papers to count them..
we came out with a conclusion. IF u quarrel with your family members/parents. come and eat the happy family meal. so u all can be a HAPPY FAMILY. u can also play the happy family meal game. (:

we were wondering if this was really bruise or love bite... (:

This is the latest criss cross fries sold by mac. its only 2dollars. While stock last. (:

u see once u start studying u either start hallucinating or u start to take steps into the ultimate darkness. this is my friend mR KingKong. Mr black and mr prata(me) was there studying too (:

and as i pondered. i felt that dota is seriously a waste of money and i got pissed because i spent 10bucks playing a dumb game and ending up with a headache. arghhh i could have ate mos with that money. i had to take a cab home and accept the anger on my mum's face..
i'm gonna learn acoustic with xb. i hope. at least its worthy la. better than DOTA. (:

- it meant a thing to be controlling a country but another to fully utilise and gain mental control over the people. the people feared the communist of their iron fist rule and the secret police. out of desperation, many were killed trying to escape. this is how cruel life is...
and as u walk, life gets darker but the light gets brighter. (:

2006-11-03T08:18:00.000-08:00

i did something horrible ... i drew on my mirror. i think my mum is gonna slaughter me alive?..
i was waiting for the drama to load so i decided to blog. then i drew on my mirror. it looks horrible. very. arghhhhhhhhhhhh..
i wanted to blog something. my o's are in 2 days time?.. interesting huh..
we went to the airport for 2 days straight.so its like kinda of strange. and i would like to

apologise to Mr Ngoh. casue i overslept.. hahahaha. i need to buy a t-shirt. all my shirt shrank or got enlarged. hahahaa..

i'm quite touched by something sherwyn did. hahhaa. (: thanks bro..

i'm sleepy. i should sleep and stand up so boring now. i don't know why.. yawnnn

2006-10-23T17:54:00.000-07:00

okay. i should post something yeah.the fonts so weird. its like so much bigger since the last time i blog. hmmmmmm. does anyone have time to help me do maintainence on my blog?..
"nothing in my hands i bring, simply to the cross i cling.
for all that u have done for me, this love song i'll sing"
it may seem so simple to everyone but somehow i never understood what he went through. i never understood how painful it was, how much he had to carry for us. it was too.. painful to think abt it. But hey! my savior died and rose again. HE is a Living Savior. (: He is with me.
So i finally took up the courage to watch passion of the Christ. I watched the first part where the devil (chalice?.. same thing la) was tempting him and distracting him. "u can never carry the burden of men" did not stop my savior from carrying the cross for me. and because he died for me, i'm living for Him.
less then 10 days to o level. i sat there thinking to myself. still half shock. 10years of education just for 2weeks of hardwork. wow..i'm getting up. don't worry. (: i have faith in myself and in God.

-if u don't have faith in Yourself, then people would not have faith in you.

2006-09-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

life seems like a rush and gasp for air. time pass so quickly. 2 weeks gone.
i really need some motivation to get me moving.
we had our 4hours geography lesson today. and i felt that "hey at least i did learn something today" and i felt such a sense of accomplishment. we headed down to food court for dinner. as we sat there, xianbi said"eh everyone attached already left we all two" and really it sat upon my heart. perhaps i had been avoiding to think abt that question. perhaps not. everyone in our clique were attached. Jess with Darius. Andre with Andrina. Sherwyn with Irdayah. Michael with Phoebe. And lastly, Meiyan being a lesbian. i don't like that "guy"''s name. owell.
Certainly Xb and I were singled for a reason and maybe this reason is not seen today but we often to have a concept of having what my friends have. and i really thought abt what i've been doing this past entire year since the day i became serious abt my pursue in God. and as i lay back thinking, this walk was not a unfruitful one. I knew God and personally knew Him. It was such a blessing and honour. although temptation seems to lurk at every corner, i've learn so much. and i never regretted.
-relationship changes man . -xb
my relationship with God changed me.u 'll never know. untill u know Him. how i've matured so quickly through this one year. is ... mysterious. and ... unexpectable.
maybe a lil bit of jealousy still linger in the dark corner but i know i've come so far and i'm not walking back...
(:

2006-09-16T06:05:00.000-07:00

i'm so angry right now!!. arghhh.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now my name can never be cleared. all the leaders know me?..
sunshine .. WTH!!.. she is ...!! arghhhh. i shall not curse anyone.

i feel like saying this "May God deal with her,be it ever so severely." but nvm..

xb:" good what. now the whole church and leadership know u"
yeah thats the positive side. chill axel. (:

2006-09-14T01:30:00.000-07:00

dudeS!!. sorry for not blgging.i jus kinda delete what i wrote on the other post. arghh!!.. i've to rewrite everything!.
my new site :CLICK on ME!! ..the blog on both sites will be updated, so don't have to worry if this will not be updated. i like multiply becasue they have

Photos
Song
Reviews
so cool huh?!.. i know la like so slow.

i was talking to joy and xb abt school and time really pass so quickly. it seems as though yesterday that i came into this school. while many will dread this school. i'll miss it. all the fun we had. sound so gay huh?! certainly time is precious prelims nearly over. o's are near!!.. (: we gonan miss

NO MORE DISTURBING SEC1 AND 2s.
NO MORE IRRITATING TEACHER
NO MORE STREET SOCCER
NO MORE TOILET BREAKS
NO MORE LEISURE WALK
NO MORE SKIPPING CLASS
NO MORE UNITED SEC 4B
NO MORE DIRTY CLASSROOM FLOOR

SO MANY "NO MORES"

quantalamera!!

2006-09-01T20:04:00.000-07:00

i'm happy. more like refreshed.after listening to the matyr prayers
the other day, we went to watch monster house at kiatwee hse. hahaha. losers play aoe. so stopped playing aoe.then watched monster house. a movie you shouldn't spend your money on. it was a soso show. quite boring. ghost game makes you feel nauseous. lousy filming. and the commander looks like mao zedong. sitting beside kiatwee is pure laughter. we were literally directing the show and laughin at the actors and its not really very scary. hahaha.
o yes. monster house. suppose to meet bett for dinner. i owe her MOS now. so i ran there from kiatwee's hse."bett u better appreciate it." reached there, saw jx ken and shermaine. so i went in to put down my things. ken was on the phone so i thought wasn't nice to disturb him. furthermore jx was talking to me. so i put down my things. and ordered my lunch +dinner+supper. hahaha. then they left somehow or rather. bett wanted to study so i kept her company la. did my notes for bible quiz. *yawnnn* blah blah went home. there was a indian guy that refuse to move and he smelt like my p.e clothes not washing them for 10days?.. kinda sick.
hmmmm all the movies these days are... boring. oh yeah some ngee ann poly brochure is on my table. my mum threw it at me and i woke up. sickening..zZZ.
i wonder whats gonna happen in cell. hmmmm.what marc say kept me to tihnk. hahaha. owell. its sickening laaaa

2006-08-31T19:40:00.000-07:00

u see i was bored so i was "row row row your boat"
"axel was sick" and ya i was hardworking
good earth survey.thanks joy. thanks
don't know who create one. so ugly. look like mr. twix
road marshalling (:
okay the happy post. i lost my another sim Card. arghhh

2006-08-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

i thought it was nice if i post my current status.
mentally :stable physically: dying!!..
hahaha..i'm ill so ppl PRAY FOR ME!!.. I'VE lots up in my schedule(pronounce as shed due)
i had a block nose(left) in school during the day.
and a block nose(right) now..
wth.
hmmmmmm i think joy said actually make sense. :P 1 day u'll meet up with your secondary school friends or your ex best buddy and have nothin much to connect. either you are all too tired or jus so far. its jus a matter of time.and recently i've been goin thru such a time. and its such a time like this i learn the importance of friends.
.they were my life supporters. i relied on them. when they left. i only had to rely God to carry me up and thru this time of pain.
tmr 10th annive. i really dread going. arghhh. i'm doing everything. and zone meeting (i want to go!!!) zZZ..
God . my Abba Father. thank you.

-i don't work for God although his my provider. (:

2006-08-21T03:40:00.001-07:00

at the weird weird place last sat.
explore the place called singapore poly did many dumb things.
wearing formal is hot.!!
congrats. my brothers
hhmmmm betrayer is nothing-nicholas zheng
thanks la!
hmmmmmm. i met joy after that for like my dinner her supper?..
she came late for 45mins la
look at the leaning tower of yakun. (:

2006-08-16T07:22:00.000-07:00

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"
-matthew 11:28

i was meditating on this verse for long. and on my way home. i was on a cab with one of my church friend. "if you want to outreach be someone different. talk to them about life and stuff". impacted my heart. changed my mindset.it was a release of a revelation.
who needs a friend , when we have a everlasting friendship.
who needs a stead , when we have found everlasting love, that love that he died on the cross for us.
who needs the world to satisfy our thirst, when we have the springs of living water.

-wow. happy birthday kiat wee. your cell is great. don't give up. change the world kiat wee.

2006-08-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

"He who was sinless died for us who were sinful. so as to bring us to our Dad's home"

-end.

2006-08-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

The world is not worthy of you so please stop fooling around with the things of the world and the desires of the carnal flesh. All that the world can offer, all that you can accomplish and attain; cannot compare to what our God has in store for you. Your destiny will be beyond your wildest imagination. It’s time to be serious about the things of God.

-inspired. thanks Christine.

2006-08-08T22:55:00.000-07:00

i'm like into the moods of blogging. suppose to meet marc at 3. to study.
i'm leaving this burdens that have been pulling me down. its hard. i know its gonna be. i don't know what has God in plan for me but i know its gonna be good. these burdens are killing me softly, its gonna wear me out.
the fireworks were spectacular. really amazing. i stood in amazement and random thoughts jus appeared in my mind."is God jus like that? so beautiful and lavish but it disappears after awhile" i rebuke myself. hahaa nv heard before but i told whatever spirit "the devil comes to steal kill and destroy. the world is attractive, but the joy of the Lord fills my heart" and similarly marc told me when we were slacking " the world is attractive" yes it is. sometimes i jus feel like throwing in the towel.

to be continue when i come homee

2006-08-08T03:37:00.000-07:00

hey brother and sisters out there.
these few days are great days. esp days of fasting, when your body is weak, the devil know when to hit u.
and to those out there i'm alright. spiritual battle are really fun when u look back. hahaa. nv thought you were so dumb looking. but thru the grace of God i'm still here.
something came into my mind when i was out today with my classmates. really a rare opportunity for me to be out with them. really lost touch of them and had much fun with them.
i'm sorry ppl out there to let u know that u can do nothin to pay the price to have your sins cleared. its only thru the blood of Christ that we are cleanse from our sins. no matter how much u GOOD DEEDs u do, u are still a sinner. somehow ppl have this mentality of an equivalent trade. sorry this isn't alchemist?..u don't get to trade your deeds cause no matter how much u give in. its insufficent. i came upon this video of a preacher preaching. i saw that video when i was sec2. i didn't know Christ. but i remembered what he said." to all insincere worshippers, the sacrifice of worship is insufficent. what u are doing can never replaced what he has done for us. it will never be sufficent to take over what he has done for us" and it kinda stayed in my mind.
this is to all out there. the sacrifice u think u paid will NEVER BE SUFFICENT

2006-08-05T07:54:00.000-07:00

this is jus the beginning. my mighty army.
5 is gonna be expanded sevenfold.
bnss burns. (:

for the glory of the King and His Kingdom.

2006-08-04T21:05:00.000-07:00

melody memories a picture..
one of the lowest part of life. head felt with thoughts. heart fighting the devil.warfare.
tireness filled me. trouble thoughts. can't afford to give up ppl i want.
fight.

2006-08-01T00:13:00.000-07:00

its beeeeeen long since i updated.
things have pretty much changed.i thought i was getting a hang of it. but lets say God surprised me.
now i'm jus someone who keeps getting reminded of what i've done and battling with ever long loving sin that gets attached to me daily. arghh.
pretty soon. i'll have to manifest. hmmmm i guess 1 day i kinda need to go for deliverance. my body burning with passion my heart filled with joy my life craze with radical thoughts. when everything was so HIGH up. i fell to where i came from. back to the sins i committed time and time again. i went through friendster saw a pic. reminded me of this guy and a girl. my thoughts of vengence arise.my thoughts of self centered-ness gave rose to a new era. but i guess that era was short. the holy ghost held a revolution in the body and the spirit realm.
now i'm lookin at her. thinking "U DON'T NEED ME!!.. ." u need a saviour
so SHUT UP and GET LOST. irritating devil.
heart warmt with a thought.
i'll need to quicken my speed.
i'm not gonna lose this school..
here comes the devil hiding behind that corridor on the left.

bless u ppl. fishers of men.

2006-07-31T09:13:00.001-07:00

i don't get it why THE WORLD?! yupp. that includes Christian as well..
love the GOOD lookings and DISCRIMINATE the BAD looking ones.
pity the people. hmmmm wad a nation.

2006-07-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

hey guys how's everything?...jus came home. racial harmony was fun. esp ngiht class held in the meeting room. laughing my ass off.sherwyn was HIGH huh?..
heard from my mum about the chinese "parade" held outside my estate. the fire and hot coals use for the people to walk across has jus increased by twice the size and this was becasue man wanted to walk on fire. they were willing to burn their legs for THEIR god.what more us Christians. we are living in our comfort zones. we are not willing to even risk a part of our lifes for him. some live 60 years of Christian to find that they do not know God. whats the point?..

hmmmm what do we want for the next generation?..(:

give comments for the design.(:

2006-07-20T06:42:00.000-07:00

i guess my war jus fading..
i'm losing ground!..
i'm falling backwards.
i need support!!..
and here comes Jesus. He walks to me and pull me up.
memory jus filled my mind. the many times He pull me up
he care and shower me with love.

ever grateful.
i wanna roar like a lion.
but yet meek like a mouse.
contradicting?.. nahhh..

obd.mark the day.

2006-07-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

hosanna u are worthy of all praise we worship u.

hey guys whats up. my birthday was great.thanks to phoebe,amelia,xianbi for the presents dylan too (:
was a great day. hahaha.
Life great. everythign war and war. on the night of my birthday i had 1 of the strongest spiritual warfare. hahaha.
was fun and great to experience. i'm really called to be a fighter and warrior like david. (:
i shall fear nothing. "i walk thorugh the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil for you are with me"
amen.

i feel so blessed now. i can really see that revival. but there are still things holding me back. i can feel the burden for the generation. the heart for them. time is limiting me. but with the Lord shall be my guide and "surely goodness mercy shall follow me all the days of my life"
amen.
amazing God.

2006-07-07T10:16:00.001-07:00

i've crazy amount stacking infront of me.
o levels.
homework.
nbq
revival
food
parents
war
blah blah blah!!!!!!!!!..

i'm alive. (:

2006-07-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

axel was great today. went shopping and stuff. i wanted to write much stuff. but i'm too tired to think.
do u see the impact.?
be faithful

2006-07-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

i guess i found time to blog. i've been out literally everyday.i wanna complete all my homework but i jus don't seem to be able and i've been so hectic these few days i jus wanna dropped. and i have no idea where all my allowance went cause i'm broke. hahaha. and thinking that tmr's musical night i don't feel like goin cause i'm jus gonna be so freaking broke. arghh. sometimes i wished everything was better. but great is the poor for he shall boast about his wealth in heaven. i'm holding on to the covenant. that my blessings shall be poured back upon me. Lord i need some help.
spiritual warfare. lethargic and depression. everything seems falling on me. i look at Jairus and Marc, i see great things happening and i look at myself. i'm not doing my work. i'm blaming myself for everything. i'm so dead tired. i've got to change things. i was wondering whats the point of fasting and prayin when ppl can get it without such things. are all the things i'm doing now worth it. i really ponder. i need a break through.
the past few weeks were good. i guess it started today. holidays over. time to spar with the enemy.
blessed am i who stands in the open heavens, for my God is Lord.

2006-07-04T06:50:00.001-07:00

my birthday wishlist.(its something girls like to do. i shall try it. maybe. jus maybe it works)
1.More Souls(only God can answer that)
2.Kappa Bag (the new one, with green words and blah)
3.Kappa Bermudas(they feel good)
4.A new belt
5.A NKJV bible.
6.some Spiritual Books
7.a memory card.

.nv possible.
1.new camera
2.new computer.
3. new phone.

o well.

2006-07-04T06:50:00.000-07:00

all those late night soccer. and guess what. brazil out!!..
i guess God have a way and i know things will happen.
casue i pray!!. hahaha.
when you are tired and lethargic. rest well.
after the war comes the word. strengthen me.
rejoice in war because the we know who's gonna win. (:

2006-06-25T23:50:00.000-07:00

i wanna thank Marc,GuangXiang, Xb.brothers who stood by me.Inspired me More.
Thank God, For a Passion,A life to live. and to be in his presence.
i'm pressing in for more.

P( its a story. my knowledge and what i thought of.Everyone is talking about the harvest and revival but i'm not gonna talk abt it. something struck my mind when Bishop Samuel said. "moses is good, Father Abramham is good. but no one can be compared to Jesus."and this is when i realised. all this while we were praying" o God. would u make me like a moses,an Apostle Paul or Peter." but we didn't ask"Lord make me like Jesus."
Jesus was the greatest teacher.Jesus is the king of king. if we could have 1% of what he is. then we would nv be the same.
Its like wanting a grape but not the entire bunch of grapes.Jesus was the one who died for us on the Cross. He was the one who gave us Life abundance. He was the one who spoke the Gospel.He was and IS today.)
-may my fire burn and bring the harvest in. i'm inspired. but doing takes courage. (:

2006-06-22T21:06:00.000-07:00

obviously i'm being downcast.
but i have no time to go and care abt what other gonna think abt me.
i've got to apologise.
wonder why everytime stupid things have to happen
when i'm burning. passion blowoff.

we tried this today. pronounce kalm.
ahahaha.yes i'm not spiritual mature. whatever...
head hurts. wondering how to get out at 3am.

hmmmm

2006-06-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? -mark 8:36.
Praise God.

2006-06-19T23:41:00.000-07:00

Fire..The Devil tries his best to pour it out.
yeah i saw her at the footsteps of her house. wahahhaa i know where u stay girl. (:

-OBD coming. my hopes and dreams of a Revival is all on that day
consecration are being made. Things are sacrificed.
Life is made whole.I'm pressing in for more and more.
I'm not contented at what i'm goin to be.
i want more!!.. sometime it's good to be greedy.

hectic.

2006-06-16T16:38:00.000-07:00

today today today. don't u wake up at think.
what am i gonna do todaY?..
our everyday life seem simple and bored plain i suppose.
however we do not thank God for these peaceful days.
For my brothers and sisters i tell u the days of our peaceful life are nearly over.
Be alert for the devil comes to steal kill and destroy what we owned.
i praise Him.today tomorrow and forever.

i wonder why i'm so tanned. i found out i was white by nature.
i love the sun. o yes. the sun's cool alright.
my family members are all down 1 by 1 with flu. all except me.
the Lord has blessed me.hahahaha

-xell. i took the courage. (:

2006-06-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

yesterday concert at emmanuel assembly of God was great. so u could see how crazy Gen 1 people are la. running around the whole church in praise. coming up with crazy calls. hahha. was fun.

its surprising to see people around still the same in such a crucial area.
life has been a near 360 change. nv expecting what i am today.
never expecting myself to be so into what i'm today.
but really no one cares abt what u do.
Life is really more of yourself. Seriously shepherds are nothing.
its more of you stand up yourself and learn.
i have learn so much by the hard way. but its attain in my mind.
so praiseGod.

we cannot wait for the people to move then we move.
we should be the crowd bringers and not the crowd followers
it only took Joshua to bring down the walls of Jericho.
it only took a small little david to kill a big Goliath.

be that someone today. (:

2006-06-15T08:54:00.000-07:00

o yes i freaking pissed with ppl who put password in their blogs.
since u have a password then don't have a blog.
who the heck is gonna see blog. like that.
dude be smart !!.. it lags the com and u can't quit it.
like wthh!!

:monkey see monkey do.

2006-06-14T09:30:00.000-07:00

hey this blog is dead anyway.it was meant for my own enjoyment..
Genting is boring. super. Malaysia is really a malay country. everywhere u go u speak malay..
wow.. but i'm amazed by their plantation. they are so vast and wow..

Genting was a get away for me. but i missed church..
axel is coming back. wahahaha. (:

:when u really put your life into God's plan.
everything jus comes so easily.
Blessing go to people without u realising it. (:

2006-06-09T23:44:00.000-07:00

today i was supposed to meet marc and guys for ice skating.
i went down to xb old hse. so it started raining. so i called marc and sms him.
but i didn't work
so i stayed for his chinese tuition. haha.
unexpectantly, i cooked clean up and clear the place.
went bugis. and i jus came back. wad a fun day. i guess.

arghhh i'm so tired. i'm so missing her can?..
i shouldn't i musn't.

latest fact: ppl who don't watch soccer at all. starts watching soccer because of world cup. wow.!!
i wonder. really!.is it a trend.? crapp.
ahrang is a taiwanese actor?.. wow.

xell is tired.
so so tired.

2006-06-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

a break through. that barrier.i'm back
stronger. burning and flame up!!..
Jesus is my Lord!!. woohooo..

revival is on my mind!!
i wanna go jamming again!!

2006-06-08T17:45:00.000-07:00

brain mein gain?..
oblivious about everything around.
black white and a fit of purple.
my mind is just so dark.
my heart is filled with sins
Abba. I miss you. I need you.
Be that Light upon the Road.
Be that Map when i'm Lost.

no one was there when i needed them. except you.
a mansion of a haunted soul.
a deprived child.
smile

2006-06-07T00:08:00.000-07:00

axel is dead tired.
enough of photo-ing. thank God i don't have a camera
axel needs sleep. hersheys are cheap. 2 for 2.10. cheap huh?

Praise God.I'll stnad Firm!!..

2006-06-05T12:21:00.000-07:00

melcca trip was fun.
all the crazy bebehs.. hahaha.
photo craze and midnight calls.
i'm guilty for locking them outside and sleeping
thank God.

axel is a buzzer sorry.
sp is coming up on me.

2006-05-31T21:21:00.000-07:00

life is like this constant battle of the mind.
when can i get a rest?..i m tired and weary.
i wonder whether is it all worth it. my carna mind jus doing what it does best.
the devil pissing me off..
i must perserve..

i'm waiting for your sms. i won't tell you. i don't want you to worry.
is this all worth waiting for u.. i ponder..

2006-05-29T20:21:00.000-07:00

its been a long time since i updated my blog. this week was filled with up and downs.
i didn't attend service on sun(21st) went kayaking wit cl'o5. it rained?.. but it was super fun. esp me and waiyin go on search for andre. we almost got killed by fishing line and sucked into canal. the wave was so super big la. paddle so hard like move a tiny bit. hahaha.
my life and spiritual walk came tumbling down ever since tuesday or wednesday. i jus kept felling to sins and temptation. it was just so disappointing la. spiritual life was so low. then i fasted on thurs a 7 to 7 fast for deliverence. I saw the 7pm prayer. so i decided to go la. when i went there, i jus started to fall upon my knees and pray and pray. i knew i was cleanse then. it was more then jus delivering. i went for friday night prayer.
"you won my heart, yes you won my heart, trade these ashes in for beauty and wear forgiveness like a crown. coming down to kiss the feets of mercy i lay every burden down at the foot of the cross" this song jus kept repeatly playing in my mind. i kept singing it. i have no idea why.
the baptism of the holy spirit was more then just fire and slain and stuff. But being comfortable with the tongue that u jus kept speaking and blabbering in tongues. If you would jus spent 5mins speaking in tongue, your faith would definitely increase tremendously.
I'm slowly getting that burden for the lost. Often you ponder on the bus, should i out reach to these people. Should i pray for my father, although its jus a small flu. jus thoughts keep appearing in the mind. and souls are jus similar like us. they face the same problem they feel the same guilt and we are made the same.

fastest way to get happy when you are down:" watching someone accept Christ or preaching the gospel to the lost and seeing souls save" that feeling can never be trade for money or anything else. its unique..
Life is tough but God made it better for us. When you are so filled with the Holy Spirit.The devil jus keep coming. if i can stand strong now i stand strong tmr i can stand strong 5 days later i can stand strong a month later. i can stand strong in my faith forever.

2006-05-29T05:21:00.000-07:00

arghhhhhhhh. my mum is forcing me to go on holiday to genting with her.
and i can't go church !! and school!!.. and everywhere..!! wth!!!!!..

i heard this song. "when God ran" it was super blur. me and marc waaaaaaaas tryin to figure out what he was singing. but the chorus seem so clear to me. so clear and loud. i shall blog the chorus another time when i can get the exact words.today was shopping day la. walk ard with jess + + +

thank God great sales is here. but guess what i'm broke!!... arghhhh

2006-05-22T19:39:00.000-07:00

50th post.
i'll stand strong as the waves force me back.
i'll live to glorify God.
indeed another day of break through.
i'll and i must. i may be poor and lousy.
but u watch me. i'm different now.

2006-05-21T20:39:00.000-07:00

today was kayaking day. kayak kayak kayak.
so long nv kayak. lose skill.
i wanted a 'tan' today. but it started raining.
we had to go on shore. we started playin.
raping andre in sea. freezing colddddd...
went back to paddle culture. we lost andre..
hmmmm the wave was getting big and strong. the wind was so strong la. the cap flew away.
we and waiyin went to the next beach to check andre out. then went out into the sea again.
fighting 1m high current is crazy la. i'm so dead tired..
muscle acheeeeeee...

peace be with u.
-xelll

2006-05-20T22:39:00.000-07:00

wwad a day..
sat at home infront of a tv. rotting stoning away.
my back hurts like crappppppppppppp..
arggggghhhhhhhh. tmr kayaking. i wonder should i. hmmmm
-peace be with u.
xell is tireddd

2006-05-19T19:18:00.000-07:00

the hot scorching sun. the fierce burning heat.
it seem like a battlefield rising up.
frustration and anger have been gather for a war
22 men and a ball. soccer. hahahaa
i totally sucks at soccer. compared to all playin today.
i serious don't really know what i'm doing. hmmmm
i'm jealous abt him and everything around me..
why some people are so talented and handsome.
while others are blah blah blah...
but God told me i was perfect in his eyes. don't care abt how others think of me.
o yea. my head really hurt since the long heat burning.

i kinda miss her a lot?.. yeahhh. o well.

-peace be with u

2006-05-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

hey girl. i'm praying for u and ur grandma..
don't be worried she will recover.
God blessed u.

yo dudes. today i am tired.
i feel great when people ensures my dreams.
like todays P.C.C lesson. i wondered why they called it that
my class was like laughin over the name. maybe some of us. who got the joke.
anyway IR i'm coming. yes andre.!! whahahaha...

i'm tired i doubt i will go tmr. i have no idea i dun wanna spend money on going out.
hmmmmmm what to do?

-xell peace be with u

2006-05-15T19:43:00.000-07:00

i'm too lazy to blog. but i'm near "bored to extinction"
hmmmm we came up with something lame in geography class
why are there earthquakes in the world, in mother Earth..?
its cause by vibration. but what cause vibration?
Handphones!!.. o yes. moon wanted to find out from earth the next time they gonna meet with sun
so he call earth. handphone rang. vibrated. earth feel the vibration
EARTHQUAKE...

okay i know its super lame probably the lamest thing u heard of.
joke of the day (:

-peace be with u..

2006-05-14T17:41:00.000-07:00

yo.i'm back from church.
service was great. lunch was fun cause got zheng to accompany me
i could do my part in irritating him.
today jonathan came. hahaha so long nv see him la. my newcomers came too
so our cell kinda look rather biggggg.. hahaha.
service was good. my prayers the same Lord. (:
after service went with jonathan zheng nicholas(coral) jairus and that lil boy i think he's called gerald.
i nv get names right anyway. we went to cut hair la. at that hairdresser wads the name.. ah forget it.
i was the guinea pig la. ask me go cut first then see my hair cut untill very nice they all go cut.
then jonathan keeps thinkin his hair cut untill very ugly. but it was rather nice. o well
he looks like a stupid paikia la. we always call him that. but he's actually super smart. hello his maths is good while mine still cannot make it. :(

god bless u
i need to slp!!.. tired tired

2006-05-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

did i tell u i don't like BUTCHES and LESBIANS..
hmmmm i know i'm suppose to love everyone...
i could love murderers drug addicts and insane people
but nv one of those above.. it makes me puke
sorry..

i've a very narrow mind i guess..
oh yes. i'm rather depressed like what many teenagers dread about.
life is taking on course as usual; i still stoning in a corner.
i had a rather pissy day i guess.
forgett it everyone have their own friend and i guess i don't
PITY ME!!... AHHAHAHA..

people use to say "axel is mad" or " u siao ah"
honestly i have no idea..
i do things to make u laugh and giggle in ur darkest hour
and u mock at me.
some ask me where is your dignity and pride.
i tell you i have no idea.
i'm goin through a hard life if you people don't see it
i guess many don't i always seem so BRIGHT.
many thoughts are filling my brain. there so much things !
arghhhh i'm jus getting infected with "sp"

turning quiet and dull is probably the best choice.. hmmm
consumed in my own world. and thoughs.
cry out the name of the Lord.

God bless. (:
nv were once my smile true.

2006-05-12T16:28:00.001-07:00

everyone does everything secretively.
thats why there is no doubt we disobey their instructions
the laws they set for us..
they would probably call this defiance.
but there is no trust at all..
i'm watching my own back for this.
i don't hate anyone for your info

(:

2006-05-12T16:28:00.000-07:00

hey dudes.
my brain is aching as usual.
its tearing apart and destroying itself
cause i haven had much "brain juice"
and tooo much of tonning and stuff.

i have a hunger for black spicy carrot cake now..
but i'm too lazy to walk out and buy..
dude can i get a delivery man!!..

when i am tired, weak, and fragile..
the devil attacks.
and i fell but look i'm back again.
its a constant war.
And i'm winning it slowly

-peace be with u.

2006-05-08T18:24:00.000-07:00

i've been wanting to blog since yesterday but i jus couldn't find time for it.
yesterday was a great day.. thou wasn't a great day to start off. i was almost late yeah
too much elections and mtv asia...
but thank God i made it.. Service was great. Really.Though msg was short but altar calls and stuff
i ask Him and He answered. He wanted me to go infront to put down my pride.
I did.. though He did not reply in all. He ask me to go slow.
He gave me a task. i truely knew what was being filled to the brim.
Hallelujah..

Then everything went on and stuff. Marc and guys wanted to treat Christine to Lunch but yeah she was busy
so we went lunch on our own. Chat laugh and stuff..
i went home to study however i got to concentrate on the phone and stuff. so i literally studied very little
But thank God gave wisdom, plentiful.. i guess i wouldn't have done my paper with a fair pass without Him. Praise him.!!
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone - Colossians 4:5-6

Life has so much to learnt and i though i knew them all. hmmmm perfection is never near unless u are filled with him and he is the PERFECT man.

-peace be with u

2006-05-07T01:20:00.000-07:00

hey peeps wadsup?
had a joyous day walking ard suntec and marina square looking for a POSB atm machine for a near 30mins
then went to study with gen1.5 and 1.6 at subway. hmmm i'm a loner i like to observe wad ppl do. hahaha. its interesting alright. couldn't study nothin got into the brain so i went wit dylan for a walk.. hahaa
arghhh when is my parents ever gonna get me a new phone?!..
always giving me false hope i rather u give me no hope then false hope. hmmmm..
everyone lookin at this pray for sister hong jie min now!!. hahaha. her eyes are swollen.. tka care hong.

am i changing my life today?.. am i influencing my friends today?..
Have anyone know of christ Jesus who shed the Blood for Us..
axel wad are u doing.. get diligent. i'm in a pruning stage..
"because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything"
James 1:3-4 trials and temptation

men stand strong in what u believe
for wad we have sacrifice this day will be return twice back

Praise God..
o yeah my parents are pissed after watchin elections. o well. Pap won but not a victorious one.
HOW SAD..(oppsss..)

peace be with u

2006-05-06T00:10:00.000-07:00

wow i jus came back from suntec
my mum's birthday.

poor hong has a swollen eye
cause by a pimple infection i think.
is it?!.. o welll
jus got her ass jabbed!!..lol
Lord have grace and mercy upon her..

however tired i'm
i'm finding time to talk to God.
To read and eat the bread of life
i came upon James
another Book that has jus helped alot
Thank God.

i shall not hate him or say anything bad abt him
its my fault that i did not studyy.. so no point yeah.
today me and mike ate ahjiesen ramen...
wanted to play dota
end up lookin at girls in library
Mike is unloyal ehh..lol

tmr got cell. yeahhh..
-peace be with u

2006-05-04T14:50:00.000-07:00

i'm so dead tired.
every single moment of my life
i'm sinning
yet every moment
he's blessing me..

i am eternally grateful.
Christianity requires changes
i'm changing Lord.

Hallelujah...
let him do the impossible in ur life today..

2006-05-03T22:34:00.000-07:00

i'm studyin
my brain juice are depleting
arghhhhhhh!!

am i using full use of my youth?..
the devil is ensnaring mee...

2006-05-01T22:13:00.000-07:00

hey yo.
it has come to my knowledge that i have flunk my english paper horrendously.
worst i have ever come to.
i do not dare to say that my english is Good..
especially with friends like dylan and all

however i don't think its that bad either
i need a boost in spellin tenses and checking my teacher told me off
i read thru the compo
missing words and spelling mistakes
weird tenses i didn't know i made

checking is important students out there.
check ur work

my attempt to write a high profound compo
has failed
i shud return to plain old normal compo that could score a reasonable 17 18

hmmmm i'm tihnking..
yes i'm "positive" abt it (pris i know its an internal exam. )

2006-04-30T23:17:00.000-07:00

today i live to give just to his name
to tell the world that he came and died for us.
my heart softens and hurts
my eyes teared and dropped droplets of saddness

today God showed me a path
a path of rocks and stones
he told me to jump..
it was a stone i keep falling..

i still fell today.
i watch that clip i put up
i wept. and fell

Jesus suffered for you.
why aren't u turning to him?..

my faith is strong and passion for him is vast.

-peace be with u

2006-04-30T08:17:00.001-07:00

2006-04-27T06:11:00.000-07:00

i took all blame for what u did.
u went ard propanganizing that i screwed it all up.
i took it with Pride.
i'm happy abt it. i guess many hate me now.
or look down upon

whats wrong these few days?
i've been screwing everything up
everytihng assigned to me
i'm pissed with everyone
is that fire burning out..?

my head full of thoughts
i'm not gonna rely on anyone
no one believes in me..
everyone thinks i'm in wrong
i can't be more bothered abt it

i'll study hard and make a stand.

i stood my ground today..
HAVE U?..

peace be with u///

2006-04-25T20:14:00.000-07:00

i decided not to blog anything Godly though many thoughs linger in my mind
today was cool.i left my bag in class. thinking i would go back and take later. i forgotten abt it i guess. my everything's inside. arghhh AXEL wad are u thinking?!
yeah so if my mp3's lost i shud be happy. less sp moments to contribute.. wahahhahas
i decided to get my own FOOLSCAP and GRAPH PAPER after reprimanded by Jess for taking like 2 sheets of her foolscap and 3 sheet of graph paper.
GUILTY JESS.. today was actually rather sucky. i found out i can't play soccer i'm too skill-less in it. isn't that sad all those time acting. o well. Nick u'were right.

hmmm i was figuring it out. i found out i am actually rather movable by ppl opinions and stuff.hmmmm pessimistic?.. i guess so. i have many crazy ideas. well not as crazy as some ppl. hahaha.mike is gay. and my curse i guess. every time i go home with him... it wud rain!!.. like wthh!!!

light blink blink i was thinking. nvm

are u happy today?..

-peace be with u

2006-04-24T19:37:00.000-07:00

power bombed
a manifestation of his power i await.
the raining poured
the refreshing drizzles
sat as the water splatted
it seem how fast water could move.

as i stood there looking at a couple.
i thought to myself.
is this all worth my time.
to be serving God.
to differ from the world.

I nv regret this life i have.
Joy of the Lord is with me
Nothin nothin can replaced it

School was great. i don't wannna go school tmr.
arghhhh... i hate Poa.
its the only lesson i dreaddddd

i've got to make my passport. hmmmm
right.

i miss her but yeah.

-peace be with u

2006-04-23T22:37:00.000-07:00

today's message by Pastor Romero Maridjan was great.
Funny and interesting. interactive.
His message appeared and struck my mind.
I was figuring out. I had a bleak vision, perharps a dream
of/for my school. a Rally. a school. a nation on Fire.
Standing and Jumping to worship him.
the msg strenthen me. and it was indeed sow into my heart.
God is moving but are we?...are we moving wit him.
End time are near and we are the CALLED generation.
The army that will stand firm.
Fight all odds. To see his Glory Fall.
to see a revival.
"let your glory fall in this place, let it go forth from here to the nations"
God has set apart a Role an inhertiance for us.
are we willing to give up all to seek him..

Move on Brothers and Sisters
Move on

He is the High and Exalted one

Praise God..

peace be with u

2006-04-22T23:37:00.000-07:00

superb-ly good.
look into quantity and not quality.
most hope for the old have gone.
its high time i open up the windows to the birds
to the youth
summer has come
spring has gone

its time to step out to see that sun shinning into ur face
and work.
for his glory and his calling

i live for him alone

a context of many content. nothin could gain more praise then him.
he is magnificent!..

that armor is already on me. i await no longer its war.

2006-04-22T02:37:00.000-07:00

i'm tired. too much studyin kills the brain cell.
ss was rather crashhyyy..
Mother tongue was cool i almost got sent out of class. cause i borrowed my dict to mike. wad a dumb reason... o well i wrote a lot for chinese 301 chinese words a lot!!! (:
English.. unsure future. i dun know. hmmmm

sleep is good. later cell i'm excited.. (:

2006-04-22T01:37:00.000-07:00

its pouring and i'm cold. wow!

2006-04-22T00:58:00.000-07:00

"Would you believe me if I said
That we are the ones who can
Make the change in the world today
Would you believe me if I said
That all of the dreams in your heart
Can come true today
Would you believe me if I said
That life can be all that you
Want it to be today

And if I had wings I would fly
'Cause all that I need You are
And if the world caved in around me
To You I'd still hold on
'Cause You're all that I believe
And the One that created me
Jesus because of You
I'm free

Would you believe me if I said
That God can make miracles happen today yeah yeah
Would you believe me if I said
That you don't need to wait for the answers before
You step out in faith
Would you believe me if I said
That nothing is ever impossible for God

Just live your life
With God inside
You won't regret
One moment of it
And give all that you can for God
For God" - Free by Hillsong United

this song has been longing in my mind for pretty long.yeah. this is what i want to many of my friends out there. those who are yet to accept Christ and know him personally. To those who are still living life aimlessly. To those who have fallen short in ur walk.
If i said God could do so many things in your life would u believe me? i dare you to step out in faith and believe to find out who is Jesus and God. Its our generation to live wit God inside. U'll not regret one moment of it.

Nothing is impossible for My God
for enquires please call me or tag the board. (:

Peace be with YOU

2006-04-20T21:37:00.000-07:00

seriously dun understand wads welfare state. it nv got into my mind.. argghhh

ss is evilll!!!

2006-04-18T19:37:00.000-07:00

arghh my head hurts. 1/2 enriching sleep. o well.
"a thousand times i've failed,still your mercy remains"

friday. great day.! had lunch with cell at popeye. i was early! wow can u believe it. i was early for once. all came late sia. hmmm we ate and talk talk talk. went to see planes at viewing area. saw this uncle. clean the window panel so skilled sia!!.. got so much action.power sia. hahaha

saturday- One Fine Day. woke up reach tampanis stadium at like jus nice.. it seems i have contracted the spirit of lateness. always late need to seat cab and i found someone to share the cab with now. my cab buddy. pris. ahahha. 1 fine day was great la. all the pail banging ppl shouting. i wasn't in my camp spirit then i was havin a flu how to be hype. hahaha...actually can la. but.. o well.
everything ended at 2+ sat the bus i was so pissed la.. so hot and stuffy. the motor was burning. the uncle drived at safe speed. arghhh
had to answer Caleb's call i knew nothing good was going to happen.. got a scolding blah blah blah. i got off the bus with my face darkened..
didn't had lunch wit fred they all.. i rushed home and went to meet mike. went to school together. hahaha. then played soccer. well that day rather on form. hahaha. but the slipper keep on make me trip. hahaha.

sunday-3rd service. shane and huiyi came. cool. more outspoken newcomers. hahaha.
generations have such a big hunger for God.Every altar call we would be crying out to the lord. the 1st thear wud be filled. we really want a revival. praise God.

i wan to go church camp!!. and malacca trip. hahaha. chuch camp cause it will be fun and enriching. definetly more worth it then malacca trip. but malacca trip wud be so fun with all my classmates and all. my parents say i only can go for 1.. arghhhhh

i give HIM all praise and glory. amen..

2006-04-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

"today i live for 1 thing to give u praise in everything i do."

hey ppl. i guess not really ppl come to my blog to read. so who cares i jus write all i want. o well its so sad to see ur msn havin abt 1/2? or more than that having a sad nick like " hais" "sadness" o well. why is the entire world so sad?!..no life!!
I'm ill again. Thank you Hairul for the spread of this contagious disease. NExt time cover your mouth. i doing fine in my sick status.:)

Yesterday went to church for passover service "lamb chop and mutton soup.." crapp.
hahaha. had supper at that horrible 5 star chicken rice. the food was blessed but it didn't really taste great. o well. i prefer the one at katong shopping center.

Today, my lord Jesus was arrested and send before the Sanhedrin.Arghhh. i seriously can't watch the Passion of the Christ. or wadever that shows the Jesus dying on the cross. that entire process. i'll jus start weeping and feeling guilty.

i thank Jesus for this day. For your blood and all that u went through was for us. To allow us into the Kingdom of Heaven. I give u all the Praise and Glory.
thank u Jesus.

2006-04-09T20:10:00.000-07:00

i'm in love.
WITH A GUY.

!!!!!!!!!!

his my everything.
tune in for more. :)

2006-04-09T19:10:00.000-07:00

still that same old God i knew
He's so cool.
He's my daddy.
He loves me!! and u too
i love him till bits.

wahahaha sound so -ah lian-
hahaha.

whats Good and Free. AND 24hr Avaliable
its My God!!.. hahahaha

tired. but still Praising his name.

2006-04-08T23:10:00.000-07:00

Heidi Baker is so GOOD. makes me like WOW..!!
MY life is different now..
praise GOD!!.. wohhoooo

my head hurts. my leg's injured. arghhh!!

2006-04-07T16:57:00.000-07:00

imagination kicks off.
dessicated mind.
lost in my own world.
suffers the strike of reality.

brain trembles

futile futile futile. thats wad i can onli say now.
she said i said they says
life beyond description
its just me and that cheena girl
she's back to normal.
thank God.
i'm not in love

she's so "dao"
we are jus close friends.
now i'm not talking abt 1.
but 2.

confused.
so is my craze mind.

emotions tireless

2006-04-07T10:10:00.000-07:00

reality strikes hard on people.

2006-04-06T07:10:00.000-07:00

my friends. i'm sick so is jess. how sad is it.
tmr is a friday. should i skip school or wad?!..
i can't breathe nose blocks sucks. my head hurts i'm sleepy.
arghhhh..
i'm thinkin abt her. but does it make a difference?
jess does is it make a difference if i like her.
hahahaha. God could do something in her.

headaches.

2006-04-04T21:09:00.000-07:00

an early morning. a rise of a new day. i broke off the bondages wit a little touch of remourseful. a prayer i made yet turning back. guilty wasn't knocking on the door. urge for satisfaction. i nv understood. late in the night i burn the oil they call"midnight" . a mind suck off its nutrients. no longer arable and fertile. it was drained.

a metre away from my friend. i know nothing Good was goin to turn out.
i stood in silence. what could i have done?..
rumours gossips and fact stated wit evidence were thrown in my face.
i was guilty. but what could i have done?!

talkin to my friend. a brother in christ. how much gap we have closen up. within jus a short time. u knew he was ur brother. he had the boost of God. God bless him.

untill today i have no idea whether what i was doing was actually right. lookin at the world. lookin at ur friends. i'm indeed standing out. pruning?..
jealousy lurks within the dark ends of my heart.
hatred and love. a mixup fusion ardor.
i love her yet he said "u sure" i wanted but i was rejected..
my mind is a complete disarray.mayhem!!

to live on faith (a man's faith is smaller than a Mustard Seed. cOOL?)

i have a vision. for this school.

2006-04-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

hellllllo. as i take a step away from the heavy load of geography homework piled up from last year. Got to passed them all up tomorrow. stressed up.my parents are talkin abt some chinese "God" which i refer as idols to me though. hmmm i guess my parents have given me more allowance and space to and for God.

mike is proud abt his kobe beef burger that wud cost abt half my allowance?!.. crap. beef is beef. jus eat it. arghhh. hahaha. o well. i bought an orange pen. cool huh?.

o well service is now at 12.30!! wooo hooo slp slp slp. yes honngg i can pig around and i won't be late for church. hahaha. hope the change of time wud allow me to bring more friends to church. i really want to see bnss in cornerstone to grow and enlarge and enlarge. i know it won't be easy. i'll do my best. For the glory of God. =) believin is seeing..=).

praise God. =)

2006-03-31T22:37:00.000-08:00

i lost touch with the world and u.
to be believing i fell in love wit you from the very start
arghhh damn it.

i'm livin with the revolving around me and me staring into blank space
thinkin wad to do next..
discouraged by the many factors
1.i ain't rich
2.i ain't handsome
3.i'm dumb and slow

to believe is to see
should i believe today?

hais(in my attempt to sound ah bengish i work!)
my heart longs for u.
saddeniseeeee

2006-03-30T21:08:00.002-08:00

wooooohoooooo i spent like mad this entire week all thanks to the girl who love minestrone so much. i've been to parkway everyday.i'm getting sick of it. i think i'll decrease the goin out time. but i studied and complete my homework goin out wit hong hong.. hahahaha.. seems that i'm allowed to say it.=) poor sherwyn.

"you are my God my life my all and i live for u alone i'm yours evermore. Heaven and earth and will shout ur praise the wonder of ur name i'll proclaim evermore. evermore. evermore." i'm listening to evermore now la.. hahaha. i always image andre face singin evermore.. ahahha cute. devoted. dumb dumb.=)

jesus my first love. and only love. i was just turning back looking seen how much i have grown and really grown mature.times of seriousness are of course in me now. but i'm jus not bringin them out in school hahaha.
today was mood swing day. i 've no idea why.jus so pek chek. sorry.. hahahaha. i scolded everyone.. esp. sherwyn. i dun know abt that girl la. whatever makes u happy alright. hahaha. dun say i nv tell u first. hahahhaa
i jus dun believe in things.

not abt the past not about the present. its abt the future. VISION. hahahaha

crap.

bye.xell.zell.plllllla

2006-03-27T18:37:00.000-08:00

heyyy o well i'm waiting for my brother to scram from the toilet he takes pretty long yea.. o well 1stly i'm promoted to Staff Sgt. 2nd highest in bb. great?.. i suppose so. Higher rank means more respondsibility? hmmmm i really wish to spend more time goin to cell group. God help!!..i miss gen 1.1.. =) wahahaha
seriously time pass so quickly and i have grown a lot yet space to grow so much i'm starting to understand and learn facts and change. looking back was great but a greater future is ahead.i have a plan made by GOD to complete.. wahahha..

in a few years time i won't be called teenager and a few more i won't be able to be like now jumping to praise God. saddly but its fact. we are all ageing..!! wrinkles. hahaha.
recently saw the 1c ppl came to tag. hahaha. if ya lookin at this. stay cool yea. become a camp leader!!. join BB! God loves u!!..

hahaha. i will find to go loitering around soon. soon i hope.

hmmm i can't wait for weekends i want a break i want to meet friends. to enjoy worship to be refresh. hahaha. i love the 7th floor car park. i have no idea why. hmmmm.3rd service coming. hahahaha. o yes pppl my number have change permantly. cancel all previous number. its 83330724 now..

take care ppl. God bless
My salvation and my honor depend on God ; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Psalm 62:7

2006-03-16T02:39:00.000-08:00

while waitin for that dumb bleach to load. i decided to come update my blog.. hahaha. cool huh?!..its 2.32 now. i am not missing school i wan more holidays come to think that ur o's are in 6-7 months time is frightening. arghhh if God could jus slow down the time for a lil while.
holidays are time where i can relax but this year different i'm feeed wit classes church and camp. homeworks fill my daily timetable and the only time i get to relax is after 11 or 12. i can watch anime and relax. chill in the cold atmosphere of my room hahahas.
i went to watch shaggy dog i think it's the title of the movie. i was late for the show la. all thanks to elaine.. hahah no la. she was jus 30 minutes late or perharps more then that. i had a fun time teasin her. she's cute. o well she doesn't like ppl to praise her.. hahaha. went to play some dumb bomberman. i literalli suck in that game
hahaha

hmmm i feel that i'm narrow minded. i'm pratical.i'm biased. i can't stand the sight of lesbian and gays. am i so old fashion its probably a prinicple i've grounded and carved upon my heart and mind
i jus dun think its right. jess scolded me. but i couldn't care less.sorry . i'm perharps stubborn.

i jus dun see it as a right thing even jus for the mean while wad is happenin to this world. y does other seek to be like a country or a person. have u no character no capability that u need to imitate others.where's ur pride.ur dignity

sometihng i learn in christ that normally people believe when u see tihngs or can be known as"seein is believing" but in christ :"believin is seeing" o well faith is important in prayer and in wadeva u do. casue there's "nothin my God cannot do" hahaha.
i like that song..

“ then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.”- Acts 4:10,12
-born. suffered. crucified. died. rose. ALIVE!.

2006-03-14T09:29:00.000-08:00

wooohooo tonight is band concert. cool huh?. o well god bless them.

hmmm the past few days have been tiring. physiccally!!.
SPIRITUALLY BOOSTED!!..
hahaha. rallies were cool. especially the chris loong one.super humourous
talented,blessed wit the power of God.

Now my heart is once again. IGNITED wit the fire of the holy spirit
the fire for God. for school for ppl around me
it spoke to me that i shouldn't rely and wait for others but take the first step

thank God

hmmmm praise God for Marc and Jarius
these few days we hadd our men's talk. and we kinda know each others problem
we prayed and prayed. prayed wit believe that God goin to do something.
as our fire burns brightly the devil is irritated. so stand strong and firm
let us not lose that fire
remember i look after ur back u look after mine

praise God for everything thank you jesus.

2006-03-09T05:18:00.000-08:00

url(http://youtube.com/watch?v=QH6nkzeD6C4)

orhttp://www.youtube.com/v/QH6nkzeD6C4"> src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QH6nkzeD6C4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="200" height="200">

hope u like the clip if i can get it to work

2006-03-08T03:43:00.000-08:00

arghhhh my mum jus scolded me for my result. i got to do well for my mids...

arghhh life so tiring..
wit God's grace i'm still standing..
thank God.
can't wait for holidays. hahaha..
time to relaxxxxxxx

-axeltan

2006-03-01T23:09:00.000-08:00

11.p.m i was expectantly suppose to go slp though. but i'm waitin for my mum. dun know where in singapore she went. arghhh. o well
TIREDNESS+SCHOOL=ANGER
really. so tired and pissed. soccer is a good way of venting it. ahaha.
yeah cheok's comin church on sunday. hopefully.
hahaha
God bless...=)

2006-02-26T00:33:00.000-08:00

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=axeell

to choose the bad stuff and weakness of mine. same 5-6 words

http://kevan.org/johari?name=addiction

to choose the good stuff and strength of mine. same 5-6 word

please doooo and write ur name too...=) thanks...

[i need deliverance. arghhhh]

2006-02-23T20:33:00.000-08:00

arghhh the weather is jus unbearable la. it scorch like a flamin star and it rains likes cats and dogs.
can't sstand it. o well i should formally thank elizabeth hong hong for keepin me chill all these while.
school is a place where u train how to keep ur temper to yourself and a place with a lot of ppl u can't seeing.
tmr is soccer day. goin to bring ball to school and probably successful kill h*****
u all know i no need to say no sec4 students likes him.. its our trend.
i guess i flunk my geography humanities english chinese and science(all because of physics!!)
o well strive for better result next month. my constant improvement..=)

thank god for everything.
she's my ectasy.=)

2006-02-23T04:33:00.000-08:00

have u heard abt the nyp student name Tammy had sex with her stead and they film it down.
now its on the net. cool huh?..
resource: tys ..LOL...

anyway help me do this its like the fashion o well i wan ppl thoughts.
http://kevan.org/johari?name=addiction

thank u

2006-02-18T06:33:00.000-08:00

hmmm, yo welcome to my new blog let me address everyone formally...
hahahaha. this blog is abt me my walk wit the lord and everything occuring.
there will be short notes reflection from me. o well. u can stay and u can leave.

o well lets start wit today. today was GEN SUNDAY.
so fun. hahaha. played some children sports day game. played dodgeball.
was so fun la. the best part was the capture flag. hahaha.me and jerome were like luring the defenders out so fred could run in and grab. he did grab but got caught. haha. my ankle hurts and i'm burnt once again. my shoulders are so burnt after 2days of intense sunlight. hahaha. o well we(blue) came in second. haha
we could have won( fred keep sayin that) haha..yup. lets do better next year!!... hahaha.
ya i bought my first story book wit my own money. how cool was that?!...haha
the testament by john grisham... hahaha. i'm proud of myself...

-thank God For the past present and Future.

2006-01-19T06:32:00.000-08:00

thank gOD for everything!